Accepting Support

After nearly four nears of healthy thinking and eating in Overeaters Anonymous, my food behaviors started to change. I started condoning larger portion sizes; eating more "healthy" sweet snacks; decided to not have sponsorship support...to say the least, I was spinning downward...gained a few pound in the process.

Last week, I decided to invite the help of a Food Sponsor into my life.  I heard him share his story of overcoming food addiction on an OA phone meeting.  Called and "bam", he's my food sponsor or my accountability partner. 

At the end of the day, I email him a roster of what I have eaten for the day at each of my 6 meals and snack times.  He also has a roster of my "trigger" foods.  I found that this element of accountability helps me to be aware of my behaviors around food and to avoid overeating or undereating (which I can also do when out of balance...neither is healthy for me).

Today, I accept all the help God brings to the threshold of my life....I choose to reachout and embrace it. I am deserving of the God's Best through the Blood of Jesus!!

Are you willing to find someone...an accountability partner to help you with food intake choices?

Time for Change: food plan

Over the past couple of days, God has offered opportunities for me to become keener with my food practices.  Over the past few weeks, I have be come sloppy with my eating: purposefully increasing portion sizes, adding in foods that ,though "healthy", are high in natural sugars and fats; also, highlighted was the need to write down my food plan (foods that are healthy and unhealthy for my consumption) and to realize how important clarity with food is to clarity with relationship with God.

These awarenesses came as result of attending telephone meetings one was an Overeater's Anonymous telephone meeting (www.oa.org) where a speaker shared how the need to remove certain foods popped up (the same exact foods I had added into my eating: nuts and dates); that he took the advice and weight balanced out. I could identify...though my weight is considered healthy (only a few pounds above my norm), I still much be alert when small shifts occur in my weight because of the nature of food compulsion challenges.  I have decided to remove handfuls of nuts and consumption of dates by themselves from my eating.

Additionally, after attending a Christian food addicts meeting (www.bibleforfood.org) and speaking with a member with long term healing from compulsive eating patterns, realized that having a food sponsor (someone committed to avoiding compulsive eating patterns, and honoring God with eating) as an accountability partner.  So, I will surrender and do what is best for long term recovery from unhealthy patterns with food.

How are you willing to change to acquire a healthy patterns with food?

Victory!

Victory is mine today....my place of peace is a sign of successful relating to God...of trust in God vs trust in my limited abilities when I roll alone in self-will.

A friend shared the ACA (Adult Children of Alchoholics) concept of "spiritual bypass"...which describes the place one can go...patiently and assuredly trusting God's "way out" of what ever challenge presents itself; feeling anxiety, experiencing emotional pain without acting out or numbing self with lots of activity or food, or any other distraction that hinders healing that comes from "facing everything and recovering"...being open to the "next healthy action" to take...even if it is to "be still and KNOW" that God is working on one's behalf is what works; taking a look at obsessive worry thoughts/thoughts that evoke feelings of anxiety and asking Gods help with healthy actions to take and then diving in...

I trusted God and he lead me to a God loving mechanic who practices integrity and the love of God in his automotive ministry to repair my car most economically; I trusted God and he lead me to get up and go to church though all inside of me wanted to isolate and stay in bed...I went and it was as if God sang sweet songs of comfort and peace and love to my soul though the words of my Pastor reminding me to trust...so today, I am surrendered and trusting God to work out the details to work out the outcome as I take his suggestive steps...one day at a time...all is well...that's victory!!

What victory have you experienced: great or small? A step forward in thought or action is success!!

Just passing through...

Just passing through this place...life for me is quite full...bubbling with positive activity of moving forth through challenges on way to higher plain. I'm feeling discomfort and at times frustration and anger...but I am acknowledging my emotions. I am praying for God's help and journaling golden nuggets of divine insight and awareness as they are revealed to me.

I am enduring through challenges in finance, transportation, interpersonal interaction, career, learning new procedure; I am working steps in two programs and living steps in several others...because I know that challenge takes extra energy I am practicing loving kindness to myself by listening to the wisdom expressed in one of my favorite recovery slogans, "easy does it (but do it)". So, slowly but surely I'm walking through this challenging time.

Finding that most important to emotional sobriety at this time is "living flowly" again..slowing my roll, not taking on additional responsibility of any sort right now; conscious contact with God: practicing my daily devotional reading, extracting an action that I can practice to grow in relationship with God; prayers and meditation; journaling what ever pops up; and writing down reoccurring thoughts (which equate to worry) that prompt discomfort...deflating their impact by affirming God's love; and also writing down and taking positive action towards solution; practicing transparency with those I trust not to shame or ridicule me for my thoughts; attending many recovery meetings. And, last but certainly not least...surrender...trusting God's way out :)

Today, I will not numb out the feelings with compulsive eating, excessive activity or working; I refuse to allow anxiety to burn like a fire through my life destroying my sanity. I will not numb out the feelings, I will face them as I hold the hand of God...and the hand of fellow travellers.

I'm just passing through...thankful for lessons I am learning that are improving the quality of my life; lessons that may be of service to others in the future when they too are passing through this same place of uncertainty...

What works for you when you are "passing through"?

The Value of Peace

** You will find that, for me, attaining and maintaining a healthy body size is heavily dependent on spiritual, emotional, mental as well as physical efforts...with most effort focued on spiritual and emotional/mental.  This is what has worked for me...if your story is different, I understand and respect that...



I see the value of peace. Without a state of serenity that only comes from a quality, trusting relationship with God, I can not hear the voice of God...distraction is a killer in this respect...it blocks off my main artery connect to God.

It is vitally important for me to protect my peace by "any means necessary". Doing what I need to do to maintain emotional sobriety...peace within and mental clarity or a mind free from obsessive worry thoughts...is crucial to concious contact with God...who guides me safely through this obstacle course called life.

Today, I understand the importance of quieting my mind with meditation; building a trusting relationship with God through communing and surrendering and allowing God to be God in my life; I understand the importance of reading the Promises of God: celebrating the ones that have already come to pass in my life as I wait expectantly and patientenly as God guides me to them with perfectly timed, specific actions....but I can't be guided if I can't hear...so, today I commit to my times of meditation and to doing what i need to do to maintain freedom from mental clutter.

A technique that worked for me a couple of weeks ago around freedom from mental clutter:

1. Making a decision to sit with emotional discomfort in stead of numbing out with food, activity, movies, etc
2. Prayer to God for help
3. Took a nature walk; took pictures; took my doggie to the dog park (calming to my soul)

(Later when returned home)
5. Made outreach calls to fellow traavellers in 12 step program
4.Attended MANY telephone meetings where God honored my willingness to do what I knew to do with insight and wisdom I needed to hear (learned that there are 12 step meeting that are heavily attended every hour of the late evening and wee hours of the morning...God is Goodness!!)
(around 2 am was able to rest)
5. Said prayer for God's help before sleeping
6. Next morning intuitive thought guided me to
a. write each obsessesive thought of worry (there were 8)
b. determine if they were dangerous or posed a true life or death threat to my well being or not (i.e. spiritually, emotionally, socially, fiancially, etc); answer for all was "no"
c. write next to each actions I could take; and if there were no physical actions to take...that ment that I could stand still and know that the God of the Universe loves me and is providing care for me with in this area. I also thought of positive affirmations and personal experiences to remind myself of God's unconditional, provisional love
d. refresh on the Promises of God that relate to each area (this is what I have on my "to do" list: http://stickyjesus.com/2011/08/50-promises-god-gives-you-as-step-into-the-digital-world-today/


In the end, I found peace...it was a gift from God...I did not pick up food to attempt to avoid the issues or to numb the emotional intensity.  I faced the issues...endured thru the discomfort and came out victoriously...just as God promises...I win with Him if I don't cave in or quit...

Are you willing to do whatever you need to do to maintain a strong, relationship with God: meditation, emotional sobriety, etc? What healthy action are you willing to commit to today?

Free Emotional Healing Quiz

Becoming aware of my need for emotional nurturing/care and support has been a major healing in my journey to a healthy body.  For me, healing change started inside with awareness of unhealthy thinking which lead to unhealthy doing. 

Last week I took a free quiz. Can't recall the original topic search that brought me to the Internet...but so thankful that God led me to this opportunity for self awareness. And, I'm sooo very thankful for the creator of this tool. This free quiz was designed to inventory emotional and spiritual maturity: http://www.dieperdinge.com/musings/?p=82 (see link at bottom of read).

This was an answer to a prayer...to find a tool to help with awareness of how I have grown as well as alert to ways that I could continue to grow (if I chose to do so). Today, I choose to grow. Took the test...found that in roughly 50 percent of the categories, I was evaluated as "mature"; in other categories, the evaluation was "adolescent". I rejoiced!! Celebrated my growth and asked God to help continue my maturation process. One area where I'm in need of growth is learning to know my limits.

Since taking this test, I have been presented with the opportunity to realize and accept limits with recovery work and that I need to hold close to the slogan "easy does it"; limits with physical work (not accepting more than I can handle...I need time to enjoy life and to rest); and limits with exercise (it's a great idea to slow down, BEFORE I start to feel nauseated).  Overdoing...getting tired can weaken my defenses and can open the door to making unhealthy food choices/behaviors; plus accepting personal limits with energy exertion is a way that I can show self-love to myself.

In short, God has used this evaluative tool to help me become aware of how I have grown, as well as how I can grow. With new found awareness, I'm choosing to take healthy actions towards change that strengthens my connection with God and thus decreases unhealthy connections with compulsive food consumption.
I used to think that the extra 100 plus pounds I carried at one time was about finding the right diet or exercise (external fixes); this was only one part of the equation for me. First and foremost, my weight loss journey was about strengthening trust relationship with God, but secondly, finding emotional sobriety...

Are you willing to take the inventory to see what it reveals? And, if you are willing to take the inventory, are you also willing to, one day at a time, allow God to celebrate with you on growth as well as accept His help in continuing your healing journey from the inside out?




Additional Resources on Emotional Health and Spirituality
http://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/

http://www.dieperdinge.com/musings/?p=82

Healing Awareness

Hi All...a large part of my healing from obesity resulted from understanding...reading researched truth about this challenge around food and obesity.  Below you'll find articles that were most beneficial for me:


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/26/AR2009042602711.html

'Kessler was on a mission to understand a problem that has vexed him since childhood: why he can't resist certain foods.

His resulting theory, described in his new book, "The End of Overeating," is startling. Foods high in fat, salt and sugar alter the brain's chemistry in ways that compel people to overeat. "Much of the scientific research around overeating has been physiology -- what's going on in our body," he said. "The real question is what's going on in our brain." '

http://articles.latimes.com/2007/nov/10/science/sci-sweet10

'In the experiment, 43 rats were placed in cages with two levers, one of which delivered an intravenous dose of cocaine and the other a sip of highly sweetened water. At the end of the 15-day trial, 40 of the rats consistently chose saccharin instead of cocaine.
When sugar water was substituted for the saccharin solution, the results were the same, researchers said.
Further testing the rat sweet tooth, scientists subjected 24 cocaine-addicted rats to a similar trial. At the end of 10 days, the majority of them preferred saccharin.
"Intense sweetness is more rewarding to the rats than cocaine," said coauthor Magalie Lenoir of the University of Bordeaux in France.'

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2010/distressed-mothers-linked-to-child-obesity/
(* if this is your story, there are free programs to help you heal emotionally:  Emotions Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholism and Dysfunctional Families.  There are telephone and face-to-face meetings.)

However, he added, “Childhood obesity has been described as a ‘global epidemic’ by the World Health Organization. With this is mind, it is clear that more needs to be done to investigate the many factors that contribute to childhood obesity. Further studies are needed to address factors that may be modifiable to be able to address the rising trend in childhood obesity.”

Findings were presented at the annual meeting of the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ Faculty of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Dublin, September 9-11, 2009.

A similar link was found by researchers at Harvard School of Public Health, Boston, Massachusetts. Dr. Pamela J. Surkan and her team looked at whether maternal depression is related to overweight in infants aged six to 24 months. They gathered data from 589 mother-child pairs living in low-income urban communities in Brazil.

They found that children of mothers with “high depressive symptoms” had around twice the risk of being above World Health Organization weight/height recommendations. A longer duration of breastfeeding (more than six months) reduced the risk, but it was increased when the mother had fewer than eight years of education.

“There is ample evidence of impairments in interactions between depressed parents and their children,” the team writes. In some deprived areas, the link with weight moves in the opposite direction. They report on a study of low-income families in Santiago, Chile, where “anxious mother-infant attachment was related to lower weight-for-age in young childhood.”

This is consistent with the failure to thrive literature, which documents the role of food-related interactions in growth delays, they believe. “Depressed caregivers may be less likely to perceive that a child is sick or respond to his or her needs, and they may be less able to coax the child to eat. Likewise, mothers with depressive symptoms may be less likely to engage in healthy feeding or sleep practices with their infant, less likely to breastfeed, and less likely to provide tactile stimulation.”

The authors suggest that caregiving behaviors such as sensitive interactions and positive engagement with a child, could affect the child’s growth. They conclude that programs focusing on mothers’ mental health, including prevention and treatment of depression, may result in collateral benefits for their children.'

Are you willing to seek the information needed to help in your healing process from obesity? 

"God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  The courage to change the things I can.  And the wisdom to know the difference.  Thy Will not my will be done.  Amen."