...so, right now, I'm at a crossroad in life as far as career is concerned. For the past few years, I have worked a job without any promise of future benefit (literally). Though it has been beneficial in some areas, it has not served me financial meaning that is, overall, a position that extracts more than it offers and is no longer of service to a healthy whole life for me.
Thanks to guidance in Underearners Anonymous (with secondary help in Debtor's Anonymous) and guidance from my God, I have increased clarity on what I spend each month, the finances I need to sustain a healthy life; meaning that I now have a minimum dollar amount that I need to properly care for myself (including vacations, special dietary needs, etc); to accept anything lower would be self debting or a form of self abuse. Additionally, accepting work in an environment that is abusive (laborious work, underearning companies that have difficulty paying their employees raises, etc) would also be self debting for me. Even in the mist of economic challenge for lots of people and companies...there are still people and companies that are thriving.
In the past, this lack of certainty of direction in life would have been an excuse I'd use to abuse food. I'd gorge myself on processed sugars or unhealthy fats to calm the emotional roller coaster I would strap myself into. Thankful today for coping mechanisms of not sitting idol in the problem, but asking God for help...for direction; meditation prayer, journaling, reaching out to "safe" people...people who are affirming and encouragment of healthy, healing actions (not just talk about it; "do" about it). And especially thankful today for the willingness to go to a quiet place inside my heart...to ask God's help and direction; and to one day at a time take those actions.
Are you prone to eating instead of learning to cope...feel uncomfortable emotions?
Are you willing to try meditation, prayer, journaling and reaching out to others instead of using food to distract from life's challeges?
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Willingness to change
"I hereby revoke the privilege pass given to self to do anything I want to do"...this was a powerful message received yesterday from a spiritual mentor. It was a message of awareness of the fact that there were areas in my life where I could change for my betterment. Though the message of change I received yesterday was a blanket one...applicable to all areas of life, now, I will apply it to food choices.
For years, I gave myself permission to eat whatever and whenever I wanted. I abused food (abuse is use of anything outside of it's intented purpose) when I ate for any reason other than need for nourishment. I still must be alert as to how I am using food...today, I have accountability with what I place in my mouth. I have a food sponsor who is willing to read over my emailed food choices (he knows what decisions I have made as far was what ingredients are toxic to my body). I eat six small meals/snacks a day (goal is no more than 250-300 calories at each meal/snack). I alternate between sweet snacks and non-sweet snacks (helps to keep balanced with amount of sweet foods...even when they are healthy for my body).
Today, my meal plan is vegan (free of meats or dairy products); my meals are free from foods that cause crave in my body: white sugar, flour, white rice, breads (I have replacement foods like agave/100 % vegetable glycerin, sprouted/seed crackers/breads instead of traditional ones). This is what has worked for me. It has taken almost eight years for me to get to this place of yielding to God's will for my food plan. Healing from food addition is a process...a series of heathy actions due to new awareness over a course of time.
Are you willing to change today? Name one action you are willing to take for today? At the end of this day, I encourage you to journal about this change you took today: what emotions came up...how did you feel; did you notice anything different? Then, share with a compassionate person who will be loving and kind as you speak from your heart...
For years, I gave myself permission to eat whatever and whenever I wanted. I abused food (abuse is use of anything outside of it's intented purpose) when I ate for any reason other than need for nourishment. I still must be alert as to how I am using food...today, I have accountability with what I place in my mouth. I have a food sponsor who is willing to read over my emailed food choices (he knows what decisions I have made as far was what ingredients are toxic to my body). I eat six small meals/snacks a day (goal is no more than 250-300 calories at each meal/snack). I alternate between sweet snacks and non-sweet snacks (helps to keep balanced with amount of sweet foods...even when they are healthy for my body).
Today, my meal plan is vegan (free of meats or dairy products); my meals are free from foods that cause crave in my body: white sugar, flour, white rice, breads (I have replacement foods like agave/100 % vegetable glycerin, sprouted/seed crackers/breads instead of traditional ones). This is what has worked for me. It has taken almost eight years for me to get to this place of yielding to God's will for my food plan. Healing from food addition is a process...a series of heathy actions due to new awareness over a course of time.
Are you willing to change today? Name one action you are willing to take for today? At the end of this day, I encourage you to journal about this change you took today: what emotions came up...how did you feel; did you notice anything different? Then, share with a compassionate person who will be loving and kind as you speak from your heart...
Monday, February 18, 2013
Cleaning the House of (Mind and Heart)
Trust God; Clean House ; Live in Service is a common chant in the rooms of 12 Step recovery; these are also themes in religious services. For me, they are in order of importance...building a trusting relationship with God is first for me; without this corner stone to my existence, I cannot be healthy in mind, soul, body; service to others allows me to give to that which was given to me...resulting in perpetuated healing as I allow God to pass on the blessing of recovery from food obsession. For now, cleaning the house of the mind and heart is what I'll expand upon today.
For me, cleaning the house of the mind/heart is vital to my recovery from compulsive eating. It entails daily self-reflection...not in a condemning way, but in a way conducive to awareness of my current healthy and unhealthy thoughts and action; so, that choice to change is available (awareness is necessary before change can happen).
Going to church for many years, helped me to gain morality, understanding of what was healthy behavior according to the God of my understanding. Being free from gluttony was one healthy behavior found in the Holy Pages...but I never got instruction on how to do that other than just don't do it...well, it wasn't that easy for me. I needed the structure of a 12 step program thru which God held my hand as I worked the 12 steps with a sponsor and heard other's stories of recovery for hope as I walked an uncertain terrain of action/change.
In the mist of the above, my thoughts were change/cleansed as I became aware of the unhealthy and practiced the healthy opposite. Self-reflection as I work the steps and practice confession/rigorous honesty with trusted people in my life who will not shame me for being human; people who, themselves practice confession/rigorous honesty with themselves. Additionally, I also attend support group meetings where people share honesty about how God is helping them to keep healthy in mind...free from negativity, self-pity and the other negative emotions which pave a path to addictive behavior and maladjustment to life. Together with God and others, recovery from compulsive eating is possible.
Are you willing to connect with a group of people who can help you with to clean the house?
For me, cleaning the house of the mind/heart is vital to my recovery from compulsive eating. It entails daily self-reflection...not in a condemning way, but in a way conducive to awareness of my current healthy and unhealthy thoughts and action; so, that choice to change is available (awareness is necessary before change can happen).
Going to church for many years, helped me to gain morality, understanding of what was healthy behavior according to the God of my understanding. Being free from gluttony was one healthy behavior found in the Holy Pages...but I never got instruction on how to do that other than just don't do it...well, it wasn't that easy for me. I needed the structure of a 12 step program thru which God held my hand as I worked the 12 steps with a sponsor and heard other's stories of recovery for hope as I walked an uncertain terrain of action/change.
In the mist of the above, my thoughts were change/cleansed as I became aware of the unhealthy and practiced the healthy opposite. Self-reflection as I work the steps and practice confession/rigorous honesty with trusted people in my life who will not shame me for being human; people who, themselves practice confession/rigorous honesty with themselves. Additionally, I also attend support group meetings where people share honesty about how God is helping them to keep healthy in mind...free from negativity, self-pity and the other negative emotions which pave a path to addictive behavior and maladjustment to life. Together with God and others, recovery from compulsive eating is possible.
Are you willing to connect with a group of people who can help you with to clean the house?
Friday, February 15, 2013
Gift of Support
For almost four years, all went well with my food program...then, like a bandit, challenges swooped in as I began to condone "sloppy" eating like larger portion sizes and random eating in-between meals. God, my superhero, came to my rescue; bringing information I needed to hear...that I needed to consider having a food sponsor...an accountability partner with my food. Once upon a time I recoiled from this very thought, "Why do I need some food hitler to tell me what to eat!!" is what I used to think...(I see anxiety around authority figure abusing power or weakness; a valid threat when I was a child, but no longer...I can set healthy boundary today).
Well, I've had a food sponsor for a few weeks now and it's been marvelous. I keep track of my food throughout the day on my iPhone and then I email the roster to him at night. There were times when I thought of popping a random piece of food in my mouth in-between meals, but thought, "oh, I'd have to record that" and then I chose not to...it is helping me to become more aware than ever of what I place in my mouth. And the support from another caring person is magnificent!
What support do you need? Are you willing to give yourself this gift...
Well, I've had a food sponsor for a few weeks now and it's been marvelous. I keep track of my food throughout the day on my iPhone and then I email the roster to him at night. There were times when I thought of popping a random piece of food in my mouth in-between meals, but thought, "oh, I'd have to record that" and then I chose not to...it is helping me to become more aware than ever of what I place in my mouth. And the support from another caring person is magnificent!
What support do you need? Are you willing to give yourself this gift...
Monday, February 11, 2013
Food used as "uppers" and "downers"...tapping into the internal drug house
Tapping into the "internal drug house" is what I did with foods. Now, you may be wondering, "what the heck does that mean???". For me that equates to using foods to balance emotions by way of naturally occurring hormones in my body. So, for example, when I was anxious about something, I would go to unhealthy fats in fast foods, etc as "downer hormones" to conjure up an artifical feeling of peace; on the flip side, if I felt saddened, I would go to sugary foods and drinks to tap into "upper hormones" to get an artificial high...all in an effort to numb-out to emotions felt. I felt so alone and unable to handle the stresses of life...so I used food to numb the pain and suffering...a major issue of my past was staying closed away inside myself; feeling as if I had to handle challenge and stress alone.
Today, I practice courage with the help of my God and various support groups. And there was a time when I utilized a professional's help; courage to face challenges steers me through life's rough waters...I don't have to be alone...
Notice your eating patterns and emotions...when do you tend to eat fatty foods? when do you tend to eat sugary foods...are you using food to numb out emotions?
Today, I practice courage with the help of my God and various support groups. And there was a time when I utilized a professional's help; courage to face challenges steers me through life's rough waters...I don't have to be alone...
Notice your eating patterns and emotions...when do you tend to eat fatty foods? when do you tend to eat sugary foods...are you using food to numb out emotions?
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Food is nourishment
Would you believe me if I told you that I haven't turned on a television in my home for three years...well, it's truth. I learned that the average person views anywhere from 3,000 to 4, 000 advertised message a day!! Now, don't get me wrong, there's a need for some advertising...how else would we learn of products and services we need to help live a quality life...but in my opinion there's overkill on the advertising...and advertising that unjustly uses shame and fear and pursuit of happiness as motivators.
I remember when I was opening eyes to awareness during my journey back to a healthy body size. I gorged myself on television. I could sing jingles (even some of them from childhood are still embossed in memory) of those seen frequently. But, one day, I became aware of something...the impact of these seemingly harmless messages...particularly with food advertising. One day, as I viewed a restaurant commercial...as I watched people smiling and laughing as they ate this food on a table before them; I said, out loud, "Boy, they're having fun with that food". As I heard those words roll over the threshold of my lips, I was shocked at the twisted logic....food was not fun...how did I ever get that notion; fun and happiness, for me, comes from engaging relationships and having life enhancing experiences...not from eating. Food is nourishment...plain and simple for me...it is fuel for my livelihood when I choose purposely...when I choose nutrient rich food.
From that point on, I decided to back away from television. I watch it occasionally when working out at the gym or at family or friends homes...but not in my home and sparingly. I saw subconscious reasoning that added logs to the burning flame of compulsive eating in my life...I had been influenced to accept the faulty belief that food would add joy and happiness into my life...but it was the exact opposite...the more food I ate trying to get emotional needs met, the more miserable I became...thankful for freedom from the fallacy today...
How does the media influence your eating patterns? Is it time for a television fast.....
P.S. There's a reason why you see extreme close ups of steaming foods, etc...it enhances the appetite...there's a reason why certain colors like red and yellow are used in food advertising...I encourage you to search it out "influence of food advertising on eating patterns" on the Internet....
I remember when I was opening eyes to awareness during my journey back to a healthy body size. I gorged myself on television. I could sing jingles (even some of them from childhood are still embossed in memory) of those seen frequently. But, one day, I became aware of something...the impact of these seemingly harmless messages...particularly with food advertising. One day, as I viewed a restaurant commercial...as I watched people smiling and laughing as they ate this food on a table before them; I said, out loud, "Boy, they're having fun with that food". As I heard those words roll over the threshold of my lips, I was shocked at the twisted logic....food was not fun...how did I ever get that notion; fun and happiness, for me, comes from engaging relationships and having life enhancing experiences...not from eating. Food is nourishment...plain and simple for me...it is fuel for my livelihood when I choose purposely...when I choose nutrient rich food.
From that point on, I decided to back away from television. I watch it occasionally when working out at the gym or at family or friends homes...but not in my home and sparingly. I saw subconscious reasoning that added logs to the burning flame of compulsive eating in my life...I had been influenced to accept the faulty belief that food would add joy and happiness into my life...but it was the exact opposite...the more food I ate trying to get emotional needs met, the more miserable I became...thankful for freedom from the fallacy today...
How does the media influence your eating patterns? Is it time for a television fast.....
P.S. There's a reason why you see extreme close ups of steaming foods, etc...it enhances the appetite...there's a reason why certain colors like red and yellow are used in food advertising...I encourage you to search it out "influence of food advertising on eating patterns" on the Internet....
Friday, February 1, 2013
PAUSING ON BLOGGING...WHAT ARE THOSE ADS IN MY BLOGGS...
Hi all...please disregard those ads in my blog...I did not knowingly give permission for them to be posted there...
Life is not a Disney movie...
...so, I shared last time challenges that God walked me through...sometimes life is going to be challenging...it was foretold:
John 16:33- I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.
Knowing this doesn't make challenges easier for me, but it does add purpose to them. When I am "going through" or "earning my victory badge" I can look for the lesson by rising above the circumstances: how have I grown? how could I grow? what's being revealed through this challenge...truth is revealed in the mist of walking on hot coals of life.
I remember a time when I was in total rejection of the fact that life was not suppose to be perfect...when "stuff" happened, I reacted in conditioned fear (conditioned that I could not handle challenges in life...true, but today I have God, the Power of this Universe on my side..leading, instructing and guiding me) by cramming numbing foods like processed sugars and fats down my throat to not feel the pain of uncertainty...the pain from a perceived impending death of some sort...
AA's Big Book (p. 416) says that "...acceptance is the answer to all my problems TODAY"...if I accept whatever happened as something I can't change since I can't change the past; I can allow God to help me through the aftermath; knowing that whatever the enemy meant for destruction will be converted into a purposeful experience (and I can trust God with the "how" on that one :),
This morning after reading "Jesus Calling" (from today's date 2/1), attending a Christian Food recovery meeting on Joyce Meyer's book, "Battle Field of the Mind", God shared insight with me as I journaled these affirming words from God's heart to mine:
"...so, "no", life is not a Disney movie...there will be trouble/pain...expected it so that it will not shock you...know that I am here and that I have overcome any adversity that could ever raise it's head to conciousness in your life...and I have PRE-pared a way out...a way thru...hold my hand...remembering that I (circled) have overcome the world's troubles; and I (circled) know the way which you should go; so, I (circled) will lead you to victory thru a terain filled with landmines; with me you have victory"
Instead of running away from challengs of life, are you willing to allow God to walk yto victory?
John 16:33- I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.
Knowing this doesn't make challenges easier for me, but it does add purpose to them. When I am "going through" or "earning my victory badge" I can look for the lesson by rising above the circumstances: how have I grown? how could I grow? what's being revealed through this challenge...truth is revealed in the mist of walking on hot coals of life.
I remember a time when I was in total rejection of the fact that life was not suppose to be perfect...when "stuff" happened, I reacted in conditioned fear (conditioned that I could not handle challenges in life...true, but today I have God, the Power of this Universe on my side..leading, instructing and guiding me) by cramming numbing foods like processed sugars and fats down my throat to not feel the pain of uncertainty...the pain from a perceived impending death of some sort...
AA's Big Book (p. 416) says that "...acceptance is the answer to all my problems TODAY"...if I accept whatever happened as something I can't change since I can't change the past; I can allow God to help me through the aftermath; knowing that whatever the enemy meant for destruction will be converted into a purposeful experience (and I can trust God with the "how" on that one :),
This morning after reading "Jesus Calling" (from today's date 2/1), attending a Christian Food recovery meeting on Joyce Meyer's book, "Battle Field of the Mind", God shared insight with me as I journaled these affirming words from God's heart to mine:
"...so, "no", life is not a Disney movie...there will be trouble/pain...expected it so that it will not shock you...know that I am here and that I have overcome any adversity that could ever raise it's head to conciousness in your life...and I have PRE-pared a way out...a way thru...hold my hand...remembering that I (circled) have overcome the world's troubles; and I (circled) know the way which you should go; so, I (circled) will lead you to victory thru a terain filled with landmines; with me you have victory"
Instead of running away from challengs of life, are you willing to allow God to walk yto victory?
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Accepting Support
After nearly four nears of healthy thinking and eating in Overeaters Anonymous, my food behaviors started to change. I started condoning larger portion sizes; eating more "healthy" sweet snacks; decided to not have sponsorship support...to say the least, I was spinning downward...gained a few pound in the process.
Last week, I decided to invite the help of a Food Sponsor into my life. I heard him share his story of overcoming food addiction on an OA phone meeting. Called and "bam", he's my food sponsor or my accountability partner.
At the end of the day, I email him a roster of what I have eaten for the day at each of my 6 meals and snack times. He also has a roster of my "trigger" foods. I found that this element of accountability helps me to be aware of my behaviors around food and to avoid overeating or undereating (which I can also do when out of balance...neither is healthy for me).
Today, I accept all the help God brings to the threshold of my life....I choose to reachout and embrace it. I am deserving of the God's Best through the Blood of Jesus!!
Are you willing to find someone...an accountability partner to help you with food intake choices?
Last week, I decided to invite the help of a Food Sponsor into my life. I heard him share his story of overcoming food addiction on an OA phone meeting. Called and "bam", he's my food sponsor or my accountability partner.
At the end of the day, I email him a roster of what I have eaten for the day at each of my 6 meals and snack times. He also has a roster of my "trigger" foods. I found that this element of accountability helps me to be aware of my behaviors around food and to avoid overeating or undereating (which I can also do when out of balance...neither is healthy for me).
Today, I accept all the help God brings to the threshold of my life....I choose to reachout and embrace it. I am deserving of the God's Best through the Blood of Jesus!!
Are you willing to find someone...an accountability partner to help you with food intake choices?
Friday, January 25, 2013
Time for Change: food plan
Over the past couple of days, God has offered opportunities for me to become keener with my food practices. Over the past few weeks, I have be come sloppy with my eating: purposefully increasing portion sizes, adding in foods that ,though "healthy", are high in natural sugars and fats; also, highlighted was the need to write down my food plan (foods that are healthy and unhealthy for my consumption) and to realize how important clarity with food is to clarity with relationship with God.
These awarenesses came as result of attending telephone meetings one was an Overeater's Anonymous telephone meeting (www.oa.org) where a speaker shared how the need to remove certain foods popped up (the same exact foods I had added into my eating: nuts and dates); that he took the advice and weight balanced out. I could identify...though my weight is considered healthy (only a few pounds above my norm), I still much be alert when small shifts occur in my weight because of the nature of food compulsion challenges. I have decided to remove handfuls of nuts and consumption of dates by themselves from my eating.
Additionally, after attending a Christian food addicts meeting (www.bibleforfood.org) and speaking with a member with long term healing from compulsive eating patterns, realized that having a food sponsor (someone committed to avoiding compulsive eating patterns, and honoring God with eating) as an accountability partner. So, I will surrender and do what is best for long term recovery from unhealthy patterns with food.
How are you willing to change to acquire a healthy patterns with food?
These awarenesses came as result of attending telephone meetings one was an Overeater's Anonymous telephone meeting (www.oa.org) where a speaker shared how the need to remove certain foods popped up (the same exact foods I had added into my eating: nuts and dates); that he took the advice and weight balanced out. I could identify...though my weight is considered healthy (only a few pounds above my norm), I still much be alert when small shifts occur in my weight because of the nature of food compulsion challenges. I have decided to remove handfuls of nuts and consumption of dates by themselves from my eating.
Additionally, after attending a Christian food addicts meeting (www.bibleforfood.org) and speaking with a member with long term healing from compulsive eating patterns, realized that having a food sponsor (someone committed to avoiding compulsive eating patterns, and honoring God with eating) as an accountability partner. So, I will surrender and do what is best for long term recovery from unhealthy patterns with food.
How are you willing to change to acquire a healthy patterns with food?
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Victory!
Victory is mine today....my place of peace is a sign of successful relating to God...of trust in God vs trust in my limited abilities when I roll alone in self-will.
A friend shared the ACA (Adult Children of Alchoholics) concept of "spiritual bypass"...which describes the place one can go...patiently and assuredly trusting God's "way out" of what ever challenge presents itself; feeling anxiety, experiencing emotional pain without acting out or numbing self with lots of activity or food, or any other distraction that hinders healing that comes from "facing everything and recovering"...being open to the "next healthy action" to take...even if it is to "be still and KNOW" that God is working on one's behalf is what works; taking a look at obsessive worry thoughts/thoughts that evoke feelings of anxiety and asking Gods help with healthy actions to take and then diving in...
I trusted God and he lead me to a God loving mechanic who practices integrity and the love of God in his automotive ministry to repair my car most economically; I trusted God and he lead me to get up and go to church though all inside of me wanted to isolate and stay in bed...I went and it was as if God sang sweet songs of comfort and peace and love to my soul though the words of my Pastor reminding me to trust...so today, I am surrendered and trusting God to work out the details to work out the outcome as I take his suggestive steps...one day at a time...all is well...that's victory!!
What victory have you experienced: great or small? A step forward in thought or action is success!!
A friend shared the ACA (Adult Children of Alchoholics) concept of "spiritual bypass"...which describes the place one can go...patiently and assuredly trusting God's "way out" of what ever challenge presents itself; feeling anxiety, experiencing emotional pain without acting out or numbing self with lots of activity or food, or any other distraction that hinders healing that comes from "facing everything and recovering"...being open to the "next healthy action" to take...even if it is to "be still and KNOW" that God is working on one's behalf is what works; taking a look at obsessive worry thoughts/thoughts that evoke feelings of anxiety and asking Gods help with healthy actions to take and then diving in...
I trusted God and he lead me to a God loving mechanic who practices integrity and the love of God in his automotive ministry to repair my car most economically; I trusted God and he lead me to get up and go to church though all inside of me wanted to isolate and stay in bed...I went and it was as if God sang sweet songs of comfort and peace and love to my soul though the words of my Pastor reminding me to trust...so today, I am surrendered and trusting God to work out the details to work out the outcome as I take his suggestive steps...one day at a time...all is well...that's victory!!
What victory have you experienced: great or small? A step forward in thought or action is success!!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Just passing through...
Just passing through this place...life for me is quite full...bubbling with positive activity of moving forth through challenges on way to higher plain. I'm feeling discomfort and at times frustration and anger...but I am acknowledging my emotions. I am praying for God's help and journaling golden nuggets of divine insight and awareness as they are revealed to me.
I am enduring through challenges in finance, transportation, interpersonal interaction, career, learning new procedure; I am working steps in two programs and living steps in several others...because I know that challenge takes extra energy I am practicing loving kindness to myself by listening to the wisdom expressed in one of my favorite recovery slogans, "easy does it (but do it)". So, slowly but surely I'm walking through this challenging time.
Finding that most important to emotional sobriety at this time is "living flowly" again..slowing my roll, not taking on additional responsibility of any sort right now; conscious contact with God: practicing my daily devotional reading, extracting an action that I can practice to grow in relationship with God; prayers and meditation; journaling what ever pops up; and writing down reoccurring thoughts (which equate to worry) that prompt discomfort...deflating their impact by affirming God's love; and also writing down and taking positive action towards solution; practicing transparency with those I trust not to shame or ridicule me for my thoughts; attending many recovery meetings. And, last but certainly not least...surrender...trusting God's way out :)
Today, I will not numb out the feelings with compulsive eating, excessive activity or working; I refuse to allow anxiety to burn like a fire through my life destroying my sanity. I will not numb out the feelings, I will face them as I hold the hand of God...and the hand of fellow travellers.
I'm just passing through...thankful for lessons I am learning that are improving the quality of my life; lessons that may be of service to others in the future when they too are passing through this same place of uncertainty...
What works for you when you are "passing through"?
I am enduring through challenges in finance, transportation, interpersonal interaction, career, learning new procedure; I am working steps in two programs and living steps in several others...because I know that challenge takes extra energy I am practicing loving kindness to myself by listening to the wisdom expressed in one of my favorite recovery slogans, "easy does it (but do it)". So, slowly but surely I'm walking through this challenging time.
Finding that most important to emotional sobriety at this time is "living flowly" again..slowing my roll, not taking on additional responsibility of any sort right now; conscious contact with God: practicing my daily devotional reading, extracting an action that I can practice to grow in relationship with God; prayers and meditation; journaling what ever pops up; and writing down reoccurring thoughts (which equate to worry) that prompt discomfort...deflating their impact by affirming God's love; and also writing down and taking positive action towards solution; practicing transparency with those I trust not to shame or ridicule me for my thoughts; attending many recovery meetings. And, last but certainly not least...surrender...trusting God's way out :)
Today, I will not numb out the feelings with compulsive eating, excessive activity or working; I refuse to allow anxiety to burn like a fire through my life destroying my sanity. I will not numb out the feelings, I will face them as I hold the hand of God...and the hand of fellow travellers.
I'm just passing through...thankful for lessons I am learning that are improving the quality of my life; lessons that may be of service to others in the future when they too are passing through this same place of uncertainty...
What works for you when you are "passing through"?
Sunday, January 13, 2013
The Value of Peace
** You will find that, for me, attaining and maintaining a healthy body size is heavily dependent on spiritual, emotional, mental as well as physical efforts...with most effort focued on spiritual and emotional/mental. This is what has worked for me...if your story is different, I understand and respect that...
I see the value of peace. Without a state of serenity that only comes from a quality, trusting relationship with God, I can not hear the voice of God...distraction is a killer in this respect...it blocks off my main artery connect to God.
It is vitally important for me to protect my peace by "any means necessary". Doing what I need to do to maintain emotional sobriety...peace within and mental clarity or a mind free from obsessive worry thoughts...is crucial to concious contact with God...who guides me safely through this obstacle course called life.
Today, I understand the importance of quieting my mind with meditation; building a trusting relationship with God through communing and surrendering and allowing God to be God in my life; I understand the importance of reading the Promises of God: celebrating the ones that have already come to pass in my life as I wait expectantly and patientenly as God guides me to them with perfectly timed, specific actions....but I can't be guided if I can't hear...so, today I commit to my times of meditation and to doing what i need to do to maintain freedom from mental clutter.
A technique that worked for me a couple of weeks ago around freedom from mental clutter:
1. Making a decision to sit with emotional discomfort in stead of numbing out with food, activity, movies, etc
2. Prayer to God for help
3. Took a nature walk; took pictures; took my doggie to the dog park (calming to my soul)
(Later when returned home)
5. Made outreach calls to fellow traavellers in 12 step program
4.Attended MANY telephone meetings where God honored my willingness to do what I knew to do with insight and wisdom I needed to hear (learned that there are 12 step meeting that are heavily attended every hour of the late evening and wee hours of the morning...God is Goodness!!)
(around 2 am was able to rest)
5. Said prayer for God's help before sleeping
6. Next morning intuitive thought guided me to
a. write each obsessesive thought of worry (there were 8)
b. determine if they were dangerous or posed a true life or death threat to my well being or not (i.e. spiritually, emotionally, socially, fiancially, etc); answer for all was "no"
c. write next to each actions I could take; and if there were no physical actions to take...that ment that I could stand still and know that the God of the Universe loves me and is providing care for me with in this area. I also thought of positive affirmations and personal experiences to remind myself of God's unconditional, provisional love
d. refresh on the Promises of God that relate to each area (this is what I have on my "to do" list: http://stickyjesus.com/2011/08/50-promises-god-gives-you-as-step-into-the-digital-world-today/
In the end, I found peace...it was a gift from God...I did not pick up food to attempt to avoid the issues or to numb the emotional intensity. I faced the issues...endured thru the discomfort and came out victoriously...just as God promises...I win with Him if I don't cave in or quit...
Are you willing to do whatever you need to do to maintain a strong, relationship with God: meditation, emotional sobriety, etc? What healthy action are you willing to commit to today?
I see the value of peace. Without a state of serenity that only comes from a quality, trusting relationship with God, I can not hear the voice of God...distraction is a killer in this respect...it blocks off my main artery connect to God.
It is vitally important for me to protect my peace by "any means necessary". Doing what I need to do to maintain emotional sobriety...peace within and mental clarity or a mind free from obsessive worry thoughts...is crucial to concious contact with God...who guides me safely through this obstacle course called life.
Today, I understand the importance of quieting my mind with meditation; building a trusting relationship with God through communing and surrendering and allowing God to be God in my life; I understand the importance of reading the Promises of God: celebrating the ones that have already come to pass in my life as I wait expectantly and patientenly as God guides me to them with perfectly timed, specific actions....but I can't be guided if I can't hear...so, today I commit to my times of meditation and to doing what i need to do to maintain freedom from mental clutter.
A technique that worked for me a couple of weeks ago around freedom from mental clutter:
1. Making a decision to sit with emotional discomfort in stead of numbing out with food, activity, movies, etc
2. Prayer to God for help
3. Took a nature walk; took pictures; took my doggie to the dog park (calming to my soul)
(Later when returned home)
5. Made outreach calls to fellow traavellers in 12 step program
4.Attended MANY telephone meetings where God honored my willingness to do what I knew to do with insight and wisdom I needed to hear (learned that there are 12 step meeting that are heavily attended every hour of the late evening and wee hours of the morning...God is Goodness!!)
(around 2 am was able to rest)
5. Said prayer for God's help before sleeping
6. Next morning intuitive thought guided me to
a. write each obsessesive thought of worry (there were 8)
b. determine if they were dangerous or posed a true life or death threat to my well being or not (i.e. spiritually, emotionally, socially, fiancially, etc); answer for all was "no"
c. write next to each actions I could take; and if there were no physical actions to take...that ment that I could stand still and know that the God of the Universe loves me and is providing care for me with in this area. I also thought of positive affirmations and personal experiences to remind myself of God's unconditional, provisional love
d. refresh on the Promises of God that relate to each area (this is what I have on my "to do" list: http://stickyjesus.com/2011/08/50-promises-god-gives-you-as-step-into-the-digital-world-today/
In the end, I found peace...it was a gift from God...I did not pick up food to attempt to avoid the issues or to numb the emotional intensity. I faced the issues...endured thru the discomfort and came out victoriously...just as God promises...I win with Him if I don't cave in or quit...
Are you willing to do whatever you need to do to maintain a strong, relationship with God: meditation, emotional sobriety, etc? What healthy action are you willing to commit to today?
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Free Emotional Healing Quiz
Becoming aware of my need for emotional nurturing/care and support has been a major healing in my journey to a healthy body. For me, healing change started inside with awareness of unhealthy thinking which lead to unhealthy doing.
Last week I took a free quiz. Can't recall the original topic search that brought me to the Internet...but so thankful that God led me to this opportunity for self awareness. And, I'm sooo very thankful for the creator of this tool. This free quiz was designed to inventory emotional and spiritual maturity: http://www.dieperdinge.com/musings/?p=82 (see link at bottom of read).
This was an answer to a prayer...to find a tool to help with awareness of how I have grown as well as alert to ways that I could continue to grow (if I chose to do so). Today, I choose to grow. Took the test...found that in roughly 50 percent of the categories, I was evaluated as "mature"; in other categories, the evaluation was "adolescent". I rejoiced!! Celebrated my growth and asked God to help continue my maturation process. One area where I'm in need of growth is learning to know my limits.
Since taking this test, I have been presented with the opportunity to realize and accept limits with recovery work and that I need to hold close to the slogan "easy does it"; limits with physical work (not accepting more than I can handle...I need time to enjoy life and to rest); and limits with exercise (it's a great idea to slow down, BEFORE I start to feel nauseated). Overdoing...getting tired can weaken my defenses and can open the door to making unhealthy food choices/behaviors; plus accepting personal limits with energy exertion is a way that I can show self-love to myself.
In short, God has used this evaluative tool to help me become aware of how I have grown, as well as how I can grow. With new found awareness, I'm choosing to take healthy actions towards change that strengthens my connection with God and thus decreases unhealthy connections with compulsive food consumption.
I used to think that the extra 100 plus pounds I carried at one time was about finding the right diet or exercise (external fixes); this was only one part of the equation for me. First and foremost, my weight loss journey was about strengthening trust relationship with God, but secondly, finding emotional sobriety...
Are you willing to take the inventory to see what it reveals? And, if you are willing to take the inventory, are you also willing to, one day at a time, allow God to celebrate with you on growth as well as accept His help in continuing your healing journey from the inside out?
Additional Resources on Emotional Health and Spirituality
http://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/
http://www.dieperdinge.com/musings/?p=82
Last week I took a free quiz. Can't recall the original topic search that brought me to the Internet...but so thankful that God led me to this opportunity for self awareness. And, I'm sooo very thankful for the creator of this tool. This free quiz was designed to inventory emotional and spiritual maturity: http://www.dieperdinge.com/musings/?p=82 (see link at bottom of read).
This was an answer to a prayer...to find a tool to help with awareness of how I have grown as well as alert to ways that I could continue to grow (if I chose to do so). Today, I choose to grow. Took the test...found that in roughly 50 percent of the categories, I was evaluated as "mature"; in other categories, the evaluation was "adolescent". I rejoiced!! Celebrated my growth and asked God to help continue my maturation process. One area where I'm in need of growth is learning to know my limits.
Since taking this test, I have been presented with the opportunity to realize and accept limits with recovery work and that I need to hold close to the slogan "easy does it"; limits with physical work (not accepting more than I can handle...I need time to enjoy life and to rest); and limits with exercise (it's a great idea to slow down, BEFORE I start to feel nauseated). Overdoing...getting tired can weaken my defenses and can open the door to making unhealthy food choices/behaviors; plus accepting personal limits with energy exertion is a way that I can show self-love to myself.
In short, God has used this evaluative tool to help me become aware of how I have grown, as well as how I can grow. With new found awareness, I'm choosing to take healthy actions towards change that strengthens my connection with God and thus decreases unhealthy connections with compulsive food consumption.
I used to think that the extra 100 plus pounds I carried at one time was about finding the right diet or exercise (external fixes); this was only one part of the equation for me. First and foremost, my weight loss journey was about strengthening trust relationship with God, but secondly, finding emotional sobriety...
Are you willing to take the inventory to see what it reveals? And, if you are willing to take the inventory, are you also willing to, one day at a time, allow God to celebrate with you on growth as well as accept His help in continuing your healing journey from the inside out?
Additional Resources on Emotional Health and Spirituality
http://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/
http://www.dieperdinge.com/musings/?p=82
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Healing Awareness
Hi All...a large part of my healing from obesity resulted from understanding...reading researched truth about this challenge around food and obesity. Below you'll find articles that were most beneficial for me:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/26/AR2009042602711.html
'Kessler was on a mission to understand a problem that has vexed him since childhood: why he can't resist certain foods.
His resulting theory, described in his new book, "The End of Overeating," is startling. Foods high in fat, salt and sugar alter the brain's chemistry in ways that compel people to overeat. "Much of the scientific research around overeating has been physiology -- what's going on in our body," he said. "The real question is what's going on in our brain." '
http://articles.latimes.com/2007/nov/10/science/sci-sweet10
'In the experiment, 43 rats were placed in cages with two levers, one of which delivered an intravenous dose of cocaine and the other a sip of highly sweetened water. At the end of the 15-day trial, 40 of the rats consistently chose saccharin instead of cocaine.
When sugar water was substituted for the saccharin solution, the results were the same, researchers said.
Further testing the rat sweet tooth, scientists subjected 24 cocaine-addicted rats to a similar trial. At the end of 10 days, the majority of them preferred saccharin.
"Intense sweetness is more rewarding to the rats than cocaine," said coauthor Magalie Lenoir of the University of Bordeaux in France.'
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2010/distressed-mothers-linked-to-child-obesity/
(* if this is your story, there are free programs to help you heal emotionally: Emotions Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholism and Dysfunctional Families. There are telephone and face-to-face meetings.)
However, he added, “Childhood obesity has been described as a ‘global epidemic’ by the World Health Organization. With this is mind, it is clear that more needs to be done to investigate the many factors that contribute to childhood obesity. Further studies are needed to address factors that may be modifiable to be able to address the rising trend in childhood obesity.”
Findings were presented at the annual meeting of the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ Faculty of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Dublin, September 9-11, 2009.
A similar link was found by researchers at Harvard School of Public Health, Boston, Massachusetts. Dr. Pamela J. Surkan and her team looked at whether maternal depression is related to overweight in infants aged six to 24 months. They gathered data from 589 mother-child pairs living in low-income urban communities in Brazil.
They found that children of mothers with “high depressive symptoms” had around twice the risk of being above World Health Organization weight/height recommendations. A longer duration of breastfeeding (more than six months) reduced the risk, but it was increased when the mother had fewer than eight years of education.
“There is ample evidence of impairments in interactions between depressed parents and their children,” the team writes. In some deprived areas, the link with weight moves in the opposite direction. They report on a study of low-income families in Santiago, Chile, where “anxious mother-infant attachment was related to lower weight-for-age in young childhood.”
This is consistent with the failure to thrive literature, which documents the role of food-related interactions in growth delays, they believe. “Depressed caregivers may be less likely to perceive that a child is sick or respond to his or her needs, and they may be less able to coax the child to eat. Likewise, mothers with depressive symptoms may be less likely to engage in healthy feeding or sleep practices with their infant, less likely to breastfeed, and less likely to provide tactile stimulation.”
The authors suggest that caregiving behaviors such as sensitive interactions and positive engagement with a child, could affect the child’s growth. They conclude that programs focusing on mothers’ mental health, including prevention and treatment of depression, may result in collateral benefits for their children.'
Are you willing to seek the information needed to help in your healing process from obesity?
"God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. Thy Will not my will be done. Amen."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/26/AR2009042602711.html
'Kessler was on a mission to understand a problem that has vexed him since childhood: why he can't resist certain foods.
His resulting theory, described in his new book, "The End of Overeating," is startling. Foods high in fat, salt and sugar alter the brain's chemistry in ways that compel people to overeat. "Much of the scientific research around overeating has been physiology -- what's going on in our body," he said. "The real question is what's going on in our brain." '
http://articles.latimes.com/2007/nov/10/science/sci-sweet10
'In the experiment, 43 rats were placed in cages with two levers, one of which delivered an intravenous dose of cocaine and the other a sip of highly sweetened water. At the end of the 15-day trial, 40 of the rats consistently chose saccharin instead of cocaine.
When sugar water was substituted for the saccharin solution, the results were the same, researchers said.
Further testing the rat sweet tooth, scientists subjected 24 cocaine-addicted rats to a similar trial. At the end of 10 days, the majority of them preferred saccharin.
"Intense sweetness is more rewarding to the rats than cocaine," said coauthor Magalie Lenoir of the University of Bordeaux in France.'
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2010/distressed-mothers-linked-to-child-obesity/
(* if this is your story, there are free programs to help you heal emotionally: Emotions Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholism and Dysfunctional Families. There are telephone and face-to-face meetings.)
However, he added, “Childhood obesity has been described as a ‘global epidemic’ by the World Health Organization. With this is mind, it is clear that more needs to be done to investigate the many factors that contribute to childhood obesity. Further studies are needed to address factors that may be modifiable to be able to address the rising trend in childhood obesity.”
Findings were presented at the annual meeting of the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ Faculty of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Dublin, September 9-11, 2009.
A similar link was found by researchers at Harvard School of Public Health, Boston, Massachusetts. Dr. Pamela J. Surkan and her team looked at whether maternal depression is related to overweight in infants aged six to 24 months. They gathered data from 589 mother-child pairs living in low-income urban communities in Brazil.
They found that children of mothers with “high depressive symptoms” had around twice the risk of being above World Health Organization weight/height recommendations. A longer duration of breastfeeding (more than six months) reduced the risk, but it was increased when the mother had fewer than eight years of education.
“There is ample evidence of impairments in interactions between depressed parents and their children,” the team writes. In some deprived areas, the link with weight moves in the opposite direction. They report on a study of low-income families in Santiago, Chile, where “anxious mother-infant attachment was related to lower weight-for-age in young childhood.”
This is consistent with the failure to thrive literature, which documents the role of food-related interactions in growth delays, they believe. “Depressed caregivers may be less likely to perceive that a child is sick or respond to his or her needs, and they may be less able to coax the child to eat. Likewise, mothers with depressive symptoms may be less likely to engage in healthy feeding or sleep practices with their infant, less likely to breastfeed, and less likely to provide tactile stimulation.”
The authors suggest that caregiving behaviors such as sensitive interactions and positive engagement with a child, could affect the child’s growth. They conclude that programs focusing on mothers’ mental health, including prevention and treatment of depression, may result in collateral benefits for their children.'
Are you willing to seek the information needed to help in your healing process from obesity?
"God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. Thy Will not my will be done. Amen."
Monday, January 7, 2013
Triumph over anxiety
Yesterday, I felt such anxiety. It had been mounting for several days. Anxiety resulting from obsessive thoughts of several situations in my life. Career, relationship with family, romantic relationship, new project...round and round the thoughts went as I tried, in self-suffiency, to solve the equations on my own without the aid of God.
I was angry with God and I vocalized my anger with him. "Why am I on hold in life in these areas? I'm ready to move forward...to move through pauses to a better life!". I reached out to fellow travelers and a family member. I went on a nature walk and took pictures. I read a devotional which reminded me of God's timing and that God loves me; but was still feeling resistance...self willed internal drama.
Last night, I felt the immense blessing of round the clock 12 step phone bridge calls. I must have listened to a trillion (ok, big time hyperbole here) meetings. I went on line and "googled" 12 step phone meetings starting at 11pm est and God lead me to just what I needed to hear!! I received healing messages on anxiety from an Overeaters Anonymous meetings; messages of healing in relationship from Alnon meetings; and a hodge-podge of hope from shares on a general recovery line...a place where all recovery messages are welcomed from 1am-6:30am daily: The Parking Lot telephone meeting.
Despite thoughts to take a medication to make me sleep and thoughts to eat outside of my scheduled eating plan, I did not...I sat with the discomfort ("face everything and recover")...I saw how easily addiction transference could happen. Today, I'm thankful for balance. I asked God to help remove anxiety connected with the reoccurring thoughts...and this morning it is gone...but there is still work to be done. I will write each of the thoughts down...evaluated the "danger" I felt in connection with each; and ask God to help me accept and move on in areas where I can do nothing or where there is no real danger to my well being; and take healthy action (trust God is always an action for me). Each anxiety ridden thought must be addressed if I am to get up totally, dust off and keep it moving.
Do you have anxiety provoking, obsessive, reoccurring thoughts about situations with people, what you want and haven't received, etc? Are you willing to reach out and get help from God and others? If "yes" what healthy step forward are you willing to take first?
I was angry with God and I vocalized my anger with him. "Why am I on hold in life in these areas? I'm ready to move forward...to move through pauses to a better life!". I reached out to fellow travelers and a family member. I went on a nature walk and took pictures. I read a devotional which reminded me of God's timing and that God loves me; but was still feeling resistance...self willed internal drama.
Last night, I felt the immense blessing of round the clock 12 step phone bridge calls. I must have listened to a trillion (ok, big time hyperbole here) meetings. I went on line and "googled" 12 step phone meetings starting at 11pm est and God lead me to just what I needed to hear!! I received healing messages on anxiety from an Overeaters Anonymous meetings; messages of healing in relationship from Alnon meetings; and a hodge-podge of hope from shares on a general recovery line...a place where all recovery messages are welcomed from 1am-6:30am daily: The Parking Lot telephone meeting.
Despite thoughts to take a medication to make me sleep and thoughts to eat outside of my scheduled eating plan, I did not...I sat with the discomfort ("face everything and recover")...I saw how easily addiction transference could happen. Today, I'm thankful for balance. I asked God to help remove anxiety connected with the reoccurring thoughts...and this morning it is gone...but there is still work to be done. I will write each of the thoughts down...evaluated the "danger" I felt in connection with each; and ask God to help me accept and move on in areas where I can do nothing or where there is no real danger to my well being; and take healthy action (trust God is always an action for me). Each anxiety ridden thought must be addressed if I am to get up totally, dust off and keep it moving.
Do you have anxiety provoking, obsessive, reoccurring thoughts about situations with people, what you want and haven't received, etc? Are you willing to reach out and get help from God and others? If "yes" what healthy step forward are you willing to take first?
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Awareness
It's been a while since I planned my entire day of food on paper. I usually clock it mentally. Yesterday I wrote out my plan. It was like a warm fuzzy blanket of security...knowing what I would have...knowing that I had what I needed in my home. What works best for me is alternation between sweet snacks and meals...and tracking fat intake.
A few weeks ago, the wonderful folks over at my gym offered to help me thru the gift of nutritional coaching. This had been on my mental dash for a while. Even though I am a healthy body size, it's still important for me to have my food evaluated by a professional to make sure that I'm getting proper nutrients.
The nutritional evaluation revealed a roster of nutrients I needed. My coach sat with me as we plugged into a website (http://www.healthaliciousness.com/) that helped with identifying foods I could eat to balance nutritionally. And this was an included service!!! What a blessing from God!!!
I then became willing to take the roster of foods to the grocery store....I bought the ingredients and have been preparing meals that are specifically crafted with purpose of fortifying my body with what it needs...feels good to engage in such a level of self care.
If you are just starting this weight loss journey, keeping a journal of every item place in your mouth is beneficial...this is where I started. I found that I was eating far more than I thought cause I would check out mentally as I randomly tossed foods into my mouth. This is an excellent awareness exercise...and remember...no condemnation...this is just about awareness.
Then, decide on a eating plan...some folks go to weight loss clubs to learn portion size (or you can go online for this like I did initially)...again...this is about awareness...
So, are you willing to start a food journal today? Are you willing to give your self the gift of awareness? Remember, tiny steps equate to huge positive benefits...one day at a time...
A few weeks ago, the wonderful folks over at my gym offered to help me thru the gift of nutritional coaching. This had been on my mental dash for a while. Even though I am a healthy body size, it's still important for me to have my food evaluated by a professional to make sure that I'm getting proper nutrients.
The nutritional evaluation revealed a roster of nutrients I needed. My coach sat with me as we plugged into a website (http://www.healthaliciousness.com/) that helped with identifying foods I could eat to balance nutritionally. And this was an included service!!! What a blessing from God!!!
I then became willing to take the roster of foods to the grocery store....I bought the ingredients and have been preparing meals that are specifically crafted with purpose of fortifying my body with what it needs...feels good to engage in such a level of self care.
If you are just starting this weight loss journey, keeping a journal of every item place in your mouth is beneficial...this is where I started. I found that I was eating far more than I thought cause I would check out mentally as I randomly tossed foods into my mouth. This is an excellent awareness exercise...and remember...no condemnation...this is just about awareness.
Then, decide on a eating plan...some folks go to weight loss clubs to learn portion size (or you can go online for this like I did initially)...again...this is about awareness...
So, are you willing to start a food journal today? Are you willing to give your self the gift of awareness? Remember, tiny steps equate to huge positive benefits...one day at a time...
Friday, January 4, 2013
Benefits of Discipline in Weightloss
Discipline popped up on my mental dashboard today...and that only with discipline are goals reached; discipline is not easy, but it gets easier as the practices become my norm. There are times when I tire...grow weary in doing what works (a learned definition for discipline that works for me); but, as the God of my understanding (the God of the Bible) says...discipline is challenging, but in the end, it yields great benefit...spectacular outcome (in Proverbs someplace).
The following website was beneficial in helping me to further absorb core understanding of discipline and how it works:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline
I really connected with:
"Virtuous behavior is when one's motivations are aligned with one's reasoned aims: to do what one knows is best and to do it gladly. Continent behavior, on the other hand, is when one does what one knows is best, but must do it by opposing one's motivations.[1] Moving from continent to virtuous behavior requires training and some self-discipline."
Questions I posed to myself: "What does training mean? Define self-discipline. What goals would God like you to reach? What specific training do you need to reach those goals? Are you willing to Ask God for insight and willingness to practice self-discipline in acquiring the training needed to reach the goals God has for me in this life?
(If you have a goal of reaching a healthy body size this year, know that you are not alone and that God can help you...can and will strengthen you in a multitude of ways (prayer, medition, wisdom, other's experiences{support groups have been a life line for me})...remember to be gentle and patience with yourself...take tiny steps...even if today you try drinking an extra glass of water today...that is progress towards your goal :)
The following website was beneficial in helping me to further absorb core understanding of discipline and how it works:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline
I really connected with:
"Virtuous behavior is when one's motivations are aligned with one's reasoned aims: to do what one knows is best and to do it gladly. Continent behavior, on the other hand, is when one does what one knows is best, but must do it by opposing one's motivations.[1] Moving from continent to virtuous behavior requires training and some self-discipline."
Questions I posed to myself: "What does training mean? Define self-discipline. What goals would God like you to reach? What specific training do you need to reach those goals? Are you willing to Ask God for insight and willingness to practice self-discipline in acquiring the training needed to reach the goals God has for me in this life?
(If you have a goal of reaching a healthy body size this year, know that you are not alone and that God can help you...can and will strengthen you in a multitude of ways (prayer, medition, wisdom, other's experiences{support groups have been a life line for me})...remember to be gentle and patience with yourself...take tiny steps...even if today you try drinking an extra glass of water today...that is progress towards your goal :)
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Trusting God as foundation to freedom
One of the most powerfully beneficial actions I have ever taken has been the starting of a "Trust Journal"; a totally divinely motivated action that has revolutionized my relationship with God...and has ushered me into such peace.
About seven years ago, when I first set foot in recovery rooms (Overeater's Anonymous), I found that I was agnostic...that I had a concept of God in my head, but didn't have a relationship in heart with God. I felt the presence of God, but did not allow God to be God...I controlled my life out of lack of trust that God could or would care for me; protect and provide for me.
One day, intuitive thought inspired me to start a "Trust Journal"...a place where I chronicled a story of God's love and protection and provision over the span of my life to that point. Starting with childhood, I recalled miracles that had LITERALLY saved my life...happenings for which I could not take credit. When I realized that there had been a Power greater than myself working on my behalf throughout my life, I was then willing to surrender...to get off the throne of my life, situation by situation feeling anxiety, beckoning courage as I sat in a front row seat to God's vast benefits and miracles and wisdoms that have set me free from soooo much.
There have been many, many more occurrences and God inspired actions taken that have placed me in the cozy comfort of peace....a place where I am wrapped in the loving, protective arms of God...in a high place where I see a sea of irrational anxieties that I allowed to suck the life out of my life. I no longer feel the need to swim in or to be overtaken by the waves of mental malady of anxiety....I'm trusting God and experiencing freedom on many levels, one day at a time.
How has your God, your Higher Power been there for you throughout your life? How do you need God today? Are you willing to surrender your way of doing and ask God for help...then follow intuitive thought guidance of God?
About seven years ago, when I first set foot in recovery rooms (Overeater's Anonymous), I found that I was agnostic...that I had a concept of God in my head, but didn't have a relationship in heart with God. I felt the presence of God, but did not allow God to be God...I controlled my life out of lack of trust that God could or would care for me; protect and provide for me.
One day, intuitive thought inspired me to start a "Trust Journal"...a place where I chronicled a story of God's love and protection and provision over the span of my life to that point. Starting with childhood, I recalled miracles that had LITERALLY saved my life...happenings for which I could not take credit. When I realized that there had been a Power greater than myself working on my behalf throughout my life, I was then willing to surrender...to get off the throne of my life, situation by situation feeling anxiety, beckoning courage as I sat in a front row seat to God's vast benefits and miracles and wisdoms that have set me free from soooo much.
There have been many, many more occurrences and God inspired actions taken that have placed me in the cozy comfort of peace....a place where I am wrapped in the loving, protective arms of God...in a high place where I see a sea of irrational anxieties that I allowed to suck the life out of my life. I no longer feel the need to swim in or to be overtaken by the waves of mental malady of anxiety....I'm trusting God and experiencing freedom on many levels, one day at a time.
How has your God, your Higher Power been there for you throughout your life? How do you need God today? Are you willing to surrender your way of doing and ask God for help...then follow intuitive thought guidance of God?
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Fear as catalyst for overeating
For many years, I allowed the boogie man fear to lead me around by the nose into chaos. When I make decisions based on fear...these decisions are always damaging to myself and to others. Using food to numb the fear resulted in obesity for me.
In summer of 2012, I was introduced to the concept of fear as "non-existent"...that only love existed. At the time, I was not able to receive that message...couldn't wrap my brain around it. Years before that, in 12 step program it was presented in another way...different wording, same bottom line: Fear as "False Evidence Appearing Real". I took action of researching, online, the origins of fear and found that it was indeed a "conditioning" of the mind for means of control.
Yesterday, I saw a movie trailer that addressed the issue of fear once again; and on Sunday at church...again, my spiritual leader made mention of fear as illusion. I heard this message in the depths of my soul yesterday. The movie trailer said that fear is non-existent; that it is indeed a conditioning of the mind; but danger is very real. So, yesterday, I started study of 'danger' and what it is, so that I may learn to determine true threats, true danger from fictitious threats or fear( that which is conditioned threat and not real).
This study was started not with purpose of recoiling from danger, but with purpose of learning how to overcome dangers in the moment as well as how to prepare for danger (spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, etc), thus decreasing the chance for fearful reaction. "Thank you God for differentiation between 'fear' and 'danger'; as well as for understanding that I can depend on you to help me overcome danger that appears on my life's doorstep and to side step it with trust and preparation as you share your wisdom with me and help me to take courageous, faithful, trusting actions according to your guidance".
Today, I must ask God's help to overcome the illusion of fear and replace it with the concept of danger; and to evaluate whether or not the danger is truly a threat to my well-being; if it is a true threat, I can ask God for help with walking thru and once I'm through the danger, by the Grace of God, I can allow God to strengthen me in the area which will decrease the threat to well being associated with that danger....The process of strengthening from God can take many forms for me: I may need affirmation which I can look to God for (for me I recall scriptures of God's love and protection; I go to evidence in my life when God took care of me..when my hands were totally tied in a situation and God jumped in to rescue me with intuitive thought of what to do next or thru a miracle when I have done all I can;) I may go to trusted friends who will not criticize me for feeling the "threat" or have themselfves walked thru the same danger triuphantly; I may need professional counseling or I may need spiritually focused support groups of people who are also overcoming food challenges, or other challenges (there are many; most are free...ask God to guide you to support); sometimes I may need God to help me to find development in a certain area of life like conflict management skills, etc (there are also lots of free support groups for help here if counseling is not an option now) ; God is a way out of a perceived no way for me today....trust, take action...God honors earnest willingness...this I know for sure!!
So, learning to differentiate difference between fear and danger; and taking healthy actions shared above have increase trust in God as hightower as refuge from dangers so that I don't feel it necessary or beneficial to overeat...this only adds to the problem for me. Face Everything And Recover from the illusion of fear.
Are you willing to do research to totally give yourself the gift of understanding around the illusion of fear and it's controlling nature? Are you willing to research the concept of danger as well and ask God for help with understanding that God is your protector and guide out of all danger (this is why daily development of a trusting relationship with God thru Bible Study and practice of surrender so that God may show us that he will never leave or forsake...even in times of danger...we are loved and protected under the wings of God alone)...
In summer of 2012, I was introduced to the concept of fear as "non-existent"...that only love existed. At the time, I was not able to receive that message...couldn't wrap my brain around it. Years before that, in 12 step program it was presented in another way...different wording, same bottom line: Fear as "False Evidence Appearing Real". I took action of researching, online, the origins of fear and found that it was indeed a "conditioning" of the mind for means of control.
Yesterday, I saw a movie trailer that addressed the issue of fear once again; and on Sunday at church...again, my spiritual leader made mention of fear as illusion. I heard this message in the depths of my soul yesterday. The movie trailer said that fear is non-existent; that it is indeed a conditioning of the mind; but danger is very real. So, yesterday, I started study of 'danger' and what it is, so that I may learn to determine true threats, true danger from fictitious threats or fear( that which is conditioned threat and not real).
This study was started not with purpose of recoiling from danger, but with purpose of learning how to overcome dangers in the moment as well as how to prepare for danger (spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, etc), thus decreasing the chance for fearful reaction. "Thank you God for differentiation between 'fear' and 'danger'; as well as for understanding that I can depend on you to help me overcome danger that appears on my life's doorstep and to side step it with trust and preparation as you share your wisdom with me and help me to take courageous, faithful, trusting actions according to your guidance".
Today, I must ask God's help to overcome the illusion of fear and replace it with the concept of danger; and to evaluate whether or not the danger is truly a threat to my well-being; if it is a true threat, I can ask God for help with walking thru and once I'm through the danger, by the Grace of God, I can allow God to strengthen me in the area which will decrease the threat to well being associated with that danger....The process of strengthening from God can take many forms for me: I may need affirmation which I can look to God for (for me I recall scriptures of God's love and protection; I go to evidence in my life when God took care of me..when my hands were totally tied in a situation and God jumped in to rescue me with intuitive thought of what to do next or thru a miracle when I have done all I can;) I may go to trusted friends who will not criticize me for feeling the "threat" or have themselfves walked thru the same danger triuphantly; I may need professional counseling or I may need spiritually focused support groups of people who are also overcoming food challenges, or other challenges (there are many; most are free...ask God to guide you to support); sometimes I may need God to help me to find development in a certain area of life like conflict management skills, etc (there are also lots of free support groups for help here if counseling is not an option now) ; God is a way out of a perceived no way for me today....trust, take action...God honors earnest willingness...this I know for sure!!
So, learning to differentiate difference between fear and danger; and taking healthy actions shared above have increase trust in God as hightower as refuge from dangers so that I don't feel it necessary or beneficial to overeat...this only adds to the problem for me. Face Everything And Recover from the illusion of fear.
Are you willing to do research to totally give yourself the gift of understanding around the illusion of fear and it's controlling nature? Are you willing to research the concept of danger as well and ask God for help with understanding that God is your protector and guide out of all danger (this is why daily development of a trusting relationship with God thru Bible Study and practice of surrender so that God may show us that he will never leave or forsake...even in times of danger...we are loved and protected under the wings of God alone)...
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Eating Plan/Emotional Eating
Today, I'm am focused on getting back into balance with my meals. I have learned that what works best for me is eating 6-7 small meals (varying between sweet (ie. fruit) and non-sweet (all else). A mentor said that every couple of hours it's great to put a "log on the fire"...to eat something...a small meal that's between 250-300 calories. When I do this in conjunction with replacing foods that trigger cravings for me (i.e. white sugar, white flour, white potatoes) with those that don't (i.e. agave sweetener, gluten-free products, sweet potatoes), life is most peaceful around food consumption.
My first eating schedule was three meals, which included a piece of fresh fruit, and journaling of feelings in-between. I learned this technique in a healing program around food addiction. I learned that sometimes the urge to eat was triggered by emotion vs genuine "tummy" hunger. A major part of my healing journey has included identification and acknowledgement of my emotions.
Do you have a plan for eating? Can you tell the difference between emotional hunger and tummy hunger?
My first eating schedule was three meals, which included a piece of fresh fruit, and journaling of feelings in-between. I learned this technique in a healing program around food addiction. I learned that sometimes the urge to eat was triggered by emotion vs genuine "tummy" hunger. A major part of my healing journey has included identification and acknowledgement of my emotions.
Do you have a plan for eating? Can you tell the difference between emotional hunger and tummy hunger?
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